A Dull Ache
by ladyspirit
Summary: “Whoever said money couldn’t get you everything was a fool.” He snorted as he pulled a small box from his trunk and shook it at his dorm mates, “Even the mud blood had her price.”
1. Chapter 1

Prologue

_I told you to leave. Looking back I probably shouldn't have. In fact I know I should have begged you to stay. My only defence for an act of such colossal stupidity is that you broke my heart. It was impossible to think about consequences or 'later' when my chest was so constricted that I could barely breath past it, ribbons were blinding my vision and tears burned behind my eyes. So I wasn't thinking. But I am now. Now that the pain in my chest has lessened to a dull ache. _

_I don't think that ache will ever go away. Even if you were back in my arms, curled in my grip, smelling of vanilla and parchment and smiling at me the way you do. I think the ache is eternal punishment for closing that door on you. Slamming it in your tear-stained face. _

_If you come back to me I'll hope the pain will eventually disappear, so I can give you a whole heart, an untainted one. If you refuse my apology then I hope the ache consumes me, because it will be my final gift from you and that makes it more precious than life. Any life. _

_You've surprised me in so many ways. You were the last person I thought I could love and now you're the only one I can't live without. _

_Please. _

One

The classroom stank of haphazard potion making, puffs of thick orange smoke exuded cauldrons and filled the room like fog, a perfect camouflage. He reached for her hand and gave it a little squeeze. Her brown eyes twinkled at him, she lifted his palm to her face and placed a gentle kiss on it with lips that were almost too soft. An unbearably happy feeling filled him even when she had set his hand back on the table and returned to her potion making. Her potion was exuding purple smoke, she had been the only person in the entire class to remember to add the dragon heartstring. Clever Hermione.

Ron returned to his textbook but couldn't concentrate on the words, his palm was tingling; pleasantly and distractingly. He lifted his face to watch hers, a pastime much more enjoyable than potions but Hermione obviously didn't feel the same. She was chewing her lip and concentrating too hard on her work to feel the heat of his gaze on her face.

_What will you wear tonight? _

He slid the note towards her. It took her a while to notice it, she was so consumed in stirring, but when she did she sighed and shook her head at him. Ron grinned. It had become a game between them, he would constantly ask which costume she would wear to the Halloween ball and she would constantly refuse to tell him preferring to save the surprise. They had played the same game when he hadn't known who she would bring to the Yule Ball and she hadn't known he desperately wanted to ask her himself.

"_Hermione, Neville's right- you are a girl…" He stared at Hermione, wondering if she was going to laugh at him. He was so sure she knew he saw her as a girl, an attractive, funny, kind girl and much more than a friend._

"_Oh well spotted," She obviously hadn't noticed the irony of his statement. _

"_Well - you can come with one of us!" Come with me. _

"_No, I can't," His heart fell to his stomach, thudding uncomfortably. He felt his ears redden ever so slightly. _

"_Oh, come on, we need partners, we're going to look really stupid if we haven't got any, everyone else has…" A bad line perhaps but he was trying to soften the blow of rejection._

"_I can't come with you because I'm already going with someone," His heart dropped further, he felt sick._

"_No you're not! You just said that to get rid of Neville!" He hoped._

"_Oh did I? Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!" She looked angry, hurt even. _

"_OK, OK, we know you're a girl. That do? Will you come now?" He crossed his fingers, praying she'd say yes, knowing she wouldn't._

"_I've already told you! I'm going with someone else!"_

It had taken three more years but now things seemed to be going his way. This year he was taking Hermione to the ball. She looked up from her potion, caught him watching her and frowned at him. She pointed at his potion and mouthed "Hurry up,"

Ron felt himself turn scarlet but he shrugged it off, tried to stop staring at his girlfriend and went back to stirring his now completely unsalvageable potion. Oh, the joys of love.

Later that day Hermione was stood in the girls dormitory wrapped in a towel and rubbing innumerable potions through her unruly hair, a drastic measure only taken on special occasions to flatten her frizz. Pavati was laying very still on her bed with cucumbers over her eyes and her face smeared with drying grey goo. The sounds of Lavenders shower filled the dormitory and then Pavati spoke.

"He really loves you," That short sentence caused innumerable cracks to appear in her facemask.

Hermione watched her in the mirror and fought down a laugh, "Who does?" She flipped her head forward and smeared cream from root to tip as best she could.

"Professor Flitwick," Pavati sighed, "Ron, who else?"

Hermione was standing upright again ruffling and tweaking her still wet hair, she picked up a curler from the vanity top and twisted a section of her hair around it. She didn't reply to Pavati until the curler was secure against her skull, she used a clip to hold it in place. "He's my boyfriend," She said simply, picking up a second curler and sectioning off another bit of hair.

"I'm pretty Hermione but that doesn't mean I'm stupid, I know he's your boyfriend. I also know that he loves you,"

Hermione sighed twisting the curler and wishing her tiresome roommate would get swallowed up by her face cream and never speak again. "If you have a point Pavati please get to it, this foreplay is getting tiresome."

Pavati sat up, the cucumber fell from her eyes to her lap and she stared intensely at Hermione's face in the mirrors reflection. "Who bought that nice new cloak of yours Hermione?"

Hermione's expression never changed, she continued curling her hair peacefully, "I bought it for myself," She replied, "Not that it is any of your business."

"You, the ever practical Hermione Granger, spent three hundred galleons on a Monsieur Lumbecks limited addition, double velvet, fur lined cloak?"

"I heard it was going to be a chilly winter."

"That cloak costs more than some wizards earn in a year." Pavati pressed looking dubious, "And you dished out that much in fear of a chill? Your school cloaks always done fine for you before."

"I felt like a change. What are you insinuating Pavati?"

"That neither you nor our penny-saving Ronald bought that cloak,"

Hermione picked up another curler looking unfazed, "I'll ask again, what are you insinuating Pavati?"

The sound of running water stopped and Pavati lowered her voice to a threatening whisper, "Lavender loved Ron," She hissed, "Really loved him and it broke her heart when he left her for you!"

"You told me this before," Hermione still didn't look at her, "Remember? When you cornered me in the bathroom? Why do you feel the need to repeat it?"

"I just want you to know that if you are going to screw Ron over after taking him from my best friend I will personally make sure you suffer!"

The sounds of Lavender moving around in the bathroom increased and Pavati shot the door a weary look, she did not wish to be overheard.

"You don't think Ron will like my cloak?" Hermione's voice was sneering. Pavati opened her mouth to retort when Lavender appeared in the doorway from the bathroom looking freshly scrubbed and glowing. Pavati's mouth snapped shut. Lavender shot both her silent, angry roommates a puzzled look but they both ignored her.

Hermione finished setting her hair in her curlers before walking very calmly to the bathroom, she completely blanked any attempts Pavati made to catch her eye. It was only after she had locked the bathroom door that she sunk to the damp floor shaking and feeling nauseous.

On the other side of the castle someone else was shaking but for another reason. Gregory Goyle hugged his thick arms around his body and shivered, "Can I close the window?" He asked. The thin, blonde, boy preening before his reflection raised a thin eyebrow, "Please?" Gregory added hastily and a small smile whispered across Draco's face.

"I'm feeling hot. You know I get flushed when I'm too warm," Draco sniffed haughtily as he smoothed a stray strand of hair into place, "It's unattractive,"

Gregory suppressed a sigh with great difficulty and shared a look of helplessness with Vincent who was presently squeezing his great bulk into a too small tunic.

"I feel stupid." Vincent grumbled staring down at his costume dully.

"You are stupid." Draco snapped, "Now hurry up Goyle, if you don't get a move on you'll make us later than I planned… you useless lump of lard."

"Let them shut the window Drake," Snickered Blaise as he sauntered out of the bathroom followed by a cloud of warm, moist steam. He was wearing nothing but a towel, a cheap towel at that, and still managed to ruffle Draco's vain feathers. The young Malfoy had always been wracked with the horrible insecurity that some might find Blaise more attractive than he. Of course he _knew_ logically this couldn't be possible, but the doubt was there.

"I'll flush," He snarled, "Now put some clothes on before Goyle comes out."

Blaise just chortled and smoothed his wet hair from his face in a motion that set off his muscular chest to a great advantage.

Draco wondered momentarily if he should work out more then dismissed the thought, he, the Malfoy heir, lift weights? The mere thought was preposterous.

"So Drake, who are you taking to the ball?" Blaise asked as he began rummaging through his trunk, pulling out bits and pieces of his costume and laying them on the bed, "I heard today that Pansy is flying solo, what gives?"

Draco turned to face him, leaning his butt on the vanity top and looking decidedly smug, "I'm taking Granger,"

Vincent choked and a button flew off his straining tunic to bounce off of the wall and ricochet straight into Gregory's eye. The boy yelled out grabbing his injury. The two with clear vision were staring at Draco in horrified surprise.

"You're bringing that Gryffindor mud blood to the ball?" Blaise asked sceptically and Draco nodded looking obscenely pleased with himself.

"I'm glad you grasped the fact so quickly."

Blaise took the towel from his waist and threw it onto the floor before reaching for some underwear. Draco groaned turning his neck so fast he was sure he'd get whiplash, "For Merlin's sake Blaise we have talked about this! No full frontal nudity! Thank God Goyle is blind or there would be no controlling him!"

"We're amongst friends here." Blaise smirked, unabashed as he slipped into some rather snug silk boxers and commenced in arranging himself comfortably in them. Draco was still staring at the far wall as if there was something terribly fascinating happening on it. "All safe," Blaise said when he'd finished, "So Hermione Granger, eh? Did you get a whiff of some out-of-date potion, Drake?"

"Nope. I just thought I'd escort her to the school dance. You know, give her at least one happy memory to take on from this dump."

"How very gallant of you. But this wouldn't have anything to do with your ultimate goal of destroying Potty and the Weasel would it?"

"That's not my ultimate goal Blaise,"

"Yes it is. I read your list… the one you keep in your top drawer. It was at the very top, 'destroy Potty and the Weasel'."

"It unnerves me that you poke through my drawers and flash me your body, Blaise."

"I liked number three: 'clone myself', that would be real productive, Drake."

"Just doing my bit for society."

"Potter is going to kill you." Goyle grunted still rubbing his eye, "Him and the ginger one. They'll kill you."

"They can try," Draco sneered heading for his trunk, "In fact I hope they do. But I doubt Ronnikins will be up for it once he finds out I'm milking his cow. I think it'll kill _him. _Slowly, painfully and humiliatingly." A cruel smile lit Draco's pointed features like a Christmas tree, "Whoever said money couldn't get you everything was a fool." He snorted as he pulled a small box from his trunk and shook it at his dorm mates, "Even the mud blood had her price." He stuck his head out of the open window and whistled into the cool night air, moments later a large tawny owl swept into the dormitory. "Bring this to Hermione Granger in Gryffindor tower," He instructed the bird whilst tying the box to it's large, clawed feet, "And be quick about it."

Lavender was zipping up her dress when a huge owl began pecking at the window. She shared a curious look with Pavati who had washed off her face mask and was leaning very close to the mirror with her mouth open as she applied mascara.

"Well get it then," Pavati urged her and Lavender opened the window. The owl swept in doing an entire lap of the dormitory before settling down to doze on Hermione's bed.

Lavender closed the window and locked it, "It is _freezing _out there!" She gasped rubbing her goose pimpled arms. "Hermione!" She called towards the bathroom, "There is an owl here for-," Hermione shot out of the bathroom like lightning. She practically launched herself on the bird as Pavati watched her suspiciously, "-you."

"Who is it from?" Pavati asked abandoning her mascara to watch Hermione, still wrapped in her towel and wearing curlers, detangle her package from the owl.

"My mum." Hermione replied automatically. She scurried to the window and unlocked it, "Out you go," She ordered the owl. It looked at her distastefully before spreading it's wings and exiting.

"Aren't you going to open it?" Lavender asked as Hermione clutched the closed box in one hand.

"Of course." But she made no move to unwrap the packaging.

"Go on then," Lavender urged and Hermione gave the girl a very forced smile. She returned to her bed, perching herself on the edge of it and took a deep breath.

"Worried your _mum _might have sent you a bomb of some sort Hermione?" Pavati asked scathingly and Lavender shot her friend a shocked look.

"Of course not." Hermione sniffed. She ripped the paper of her package in an air of deviancy and prayed it _was_ a gift from her mother delivered by an owl that just held startling similarities to another she knew. There was a small, black, velvet box inside all the brown paper. Hermione swallowed hard as Lavender ooed and Pavati clucked her tongue. Hermione took a deep breath as she opened the box. Inside lay a glittering necklace. A necklace with a snake pendant.

"A snake?" Lavender's voice was bemused, "That's weird! Why'd your mum send you a snake?"

"She likes snakes."

"A _snake_." Pavati's face mask developed deep frown lines, "Oh dear."


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione was lingering in the farthest corner of the Great Hall watching her classmates saunter around, laughing and letting out screams of giddy mirth as hired actors leapt out at them, as if from no where, dressed as ghouls and hags. It had been a sign of how shaken up she was when a particularly enthusiastic man dressed as Dracula sprung out from beneath a table to surprise her and she had very nearly burst into tears.

She couldn't seem to breath properly, her breaths were shallow and uneven, her heart was racing at a million miles per hour and her whole body was shaking with a feeling of impending doom. This was it. This was the night he'd been waiting for. The snake pendant felt heavy and hot against her chest as if it would burn its way through her flesh and scar her. She wanted desperately to rip it off and throw it away but she knew it would only make things worse. In all her life Hermione had never felt this frightened, no matter how many death eaters had been trying to kill her or how big the dragon about to eat Harry was… She'd never felt so helpless. She knew why of course; before she'd always had her friends by her side. She trusted Harry to be OK against a dragon because Harry was strong and brave. Harry was a survivor. Hermione wasn't sure she could survive this. This was her Hungarian Horntail only she didn't have a broom or mediwizards waiting in the wings.

Then he entered the hall. At the sight of his platinum hair Hermione felt her shoulders cave, she shrunk into herself and retreated even further into the corner until her back was pressed securely against the imprisoning wall of the hall. Her mind was blank apart from the fear and the desperate hope that Ron and Harry were still in Gryffindor tower waiting for her to come down from her dormitory. Hopefully they'd wait all night...

He was looking for her. His icy eyes were roaming the hall; narrowed over his pointed nose as he stalked her. Like a vulture he sensed that Hermione was no longer strong enough to put up a decent fight. She'd been beaten down until she was no more than a carcass in the desert, food for the birds. Or the snakes.

She lowered her eyes then closed them. She'd done this as a child playing hide and seek, the childish idea that if she couldn't see him then he couldn't see her. So she shut her eyes tight and prayed to anyone or anything that would listen to take her away. But the noises of the hall didn't fade, the castle wall was just as hard and she opened her eyes to look directly into his. It was the look in his eyes that caused tears to fall from hers. He was so empty, so emotionless. He didn't look hateful or sneering, proud or triumphant. He looked blank. Her humiliation didn't mean anything to him really, it was just a game he'd played and now he had won. It was as simple as that. She'd seen dolls eyes with more passion.

He continued staring at her with his cruelly empty expression firmly in place then he crooked a finger indicating that she should go to him. She tried to stop crying. She tried to be strong and brave. She tried to be just like her friends and face her fear like a true Gryffindor but her eyes weren't listening to her mind and neither was her shiver wracked frame. She drew herself up to her full height and raised her chin defiantly as she walked to him but tears were still falling rapidly, her lip was still trembling in fright. People began to notice her. A few tried to ask if she was OK but she ignored them. She had to go to him. It was part of the deal.

It wasn't like in the movies, or in the story books, as she approached him the crowds didn't part, the noise didn't fade, no one _really_ noticed anything out of the ordinary was happening. It was her own personal pain, her lonely fear. She took her final trembling steps to stand before him and raised her chin yet higher staring straight into his cool, beautiful eyes. The coldness in his eyes didn't waver as his lips slipped into a slight smile, "I've changed my mind," He said softly so that only she could hear, "Not tonight… I'd rather relax and enjoy the party. Maybe another time and for gods sake pull yourself together Granger," Then, still smiling wickedly, he sauntered off to his cronies and scooped Pansy Parkinson's hand up in his. Hermione stood perfectly still where he had left her feeling a million emotions course through her veins until all she was left with was hate. With a violent motion she ripped the snake pendant from her neck, the silver chain cut her neck but she didn't care, she flung it to the ground and fled the hall feeling bitterly disappointed and used. She'd thought it was all over, it was horrible but she thought the fear of discovery would be over now. But now she was still living under the weight of their secret and that had been his plan. He had made her think there was an ending in sight and now he had snatched that away again. He had found a way to make her life even more unbearable.

She needed to be alone, far from his smug, pointed face. She needed to go somewhere private and scream out her frustrations until she was ready to pretend to smile again. So she by-passed the stairs in the entrance hall and headed straight for the exit, her shoes made terrified little clatters on the stone floors as she made her escape.

The night was bitterly cold but Hermione barely registered it. The icy air actually felt nice against her tears, it was as if the weather was natures way of telling her it understood her agony. Her heels were relentlessly sinking into the moist grass and she removed them, feeling the cool, wet grass and mud through her tights. With her shoes off she felt an exhilaration, an expectation, race through her veins and she began to run. She ran faster than she ever had before, mud splashed up her legs, her perfect curls fell out and began a mess but she didn't care. She only stopped when she reached the edge of the lake. The night had made the lake black and uninviting, it was a starless night and unusually silent. Hermione's scream tore from her throat like something animalistic, something wild and separate from her body.

"I always knew you Gryffindors were crazy." Hermione stopped screaming immediately and turned to the slightly accented voice. A tall girl was leaning against the large oak tree which Hermione, Harry and Ron often spent sunny days lounging under. She didn't seem dressed for the Halloween ball in her winter cloak, bobbled hat and thick green scarf. There was a cigarette burning casually in her gloved hand.

Feeling slightly embarrassed Hermione fought a blush and sniffed, "Smoking is against school rules,"

The girl shrugged and took a long, haughty, draught of her cigarette, "I won't tell if you don't,"

"I'm head girl-,"

"I know, Hermione, right?" She pushed herself off the tree and threw her cigarette into the blackness of the lake were it disappeared instantly. When Hermione nodded she continued, "I'm Emily, Emily De Luca."

Hermione frowned thoughtfully; she had heard that name before but the girl wasn't at all familiar. "I'm in Slytherin," Emily continued tugging at her green scarf for emphasis, "And a sixth year,"

"Oh, I-,"

"It's fine you don't know me. I prefer it that way," Emily wandered straight to the edge of the lake so that the water was but inches from the toes of her boots. She reached into the pocket of her cloak and took out another cigarette which she lit with a wave of her wand, "Why were you screaming?"

"I- That's none of your business- Put that out!"

Emily made a face and continued smoking, "No." After a few thoughtful puffs she turned back to Hermione, "I come out here to think but you're the only person who comes here to yell." When Hermione didn't reply she continued, "I came here from my school in Italy last year, I was automatically put in Slytherin and since then I've been very alone, you know? People in that house don't want to be friends, they want to be allies. My old school wasn't a boarding school and we all just got taught together, that was better. I hate it here. There are so many stupid rules and stupid people. I don't know why half of the Hufflepuffs are allowed to live never mind be taught, you Gryffindors are just as bad with your self-righteous bullshit and the Ravenclaws make me sick. The only people I can stand are the Slytherins and they're the worst of all because they're so mutinous. Sometimes I have dreams about dying and I look forward to them." Hermione stared at her slightly open mouthed and Emily smiled bitterly, "Now, why were you screaming?"

Then completely unbeknownst to why she was doing it Hermione began to talk, "I've got myself into the most horrible situation I can imagine. I'm a horrible person and there's no way to fix things." She collapsed to sit on the frozen grass were she shivered as she spoke, staring blankly at the dark water, "I thought I loved Ron… I did love him. I _do_ love him but I'm not _in love _with him… I thought I was… I really did but I'm not and… no matter how hard I try… Over the summer we practically spent every moment with each other and I began to feel _trapped_… But nothing ever happened that could excuse me if I just broke it off… Everyone just thinks we're meant to be that it'll work out and I don't want it to! I mean _I do_ but I don't… I don't want to marry him! I don't want to be his wife! The mother of his children! But it felt like that was what was going to happen… Maybe not for ten years, maybe not for fifteen but eventually. I'd gotten myself onto a ride that didn't stop until I was seventy and sitting on a rocking chair next to Ron looking at pictures of our grandchildren in the burrow." She shivered rather violently and Emily removed her cloak, revealing a padded jacket, and draped the cloak over the talking girl, "Then we came back to school and I kept trying to get some alone time, off at the library and that's when _he_ started… started playing his game I suppose. I'd always hated him, I still hate him but he presented the complete opposite to Ron. He didn't want me forever, he barely wanted me then and I know it's crazy but for some mad reason that was _appealing_," She tugged the cloak around her shoulders as fresh tears began to slip down her face, "I ignored him, of course. When he would follow me into the restricted section of the library and _say things_ I always told him to leave me alone or I'd report him… When he forced me into empty classrooms I'd pull my wand and threaten him but he never cared, he'd just smirk at me as if it was funny." Hermione sighed shakily and continued talking to the lake, "Then near the end of September Ron mentioned getting engaged- it was crazy we've only been dating a few months! But when he said it I could barely breath. I smiled at him and said I needed to go and I went straight to the library… I didn't realise at the time but now I look back I was probably looking for him and he was there with that smirk on his face… He started saying stuff again and this time I didn't tell him to go away. We left the library and he took out a pair of earrings, he told me he'd got them for me and wanted me to wear them. I put them on and then we…" She trailed off and for the first time since she started talking glanced up at the stranger Emily's sympathetic face.

"Shagged?" Emily filled in in her accented voice, the word sounded obscene but Hermione nodded slowly looking deeply ashamed.

"Right there in the corridor where anyone could have seen. I wanted to go somewhere private but he said no, he said that he couldn't wait," Hermione looked horrified as she reflected on what had happened, she felt sick right to her core, "Afterwards I felt dirty. I'd never felt so horrible. He buttoned himself up and left me standing in that corridor wearing his filthy earrings." She wiped her tear flooded cheeks but it was in vain, "I felt so guilty… I went back to Gryffindor tower and Ron was there, he knew something was wrong and he was so sweet… He told me he loved me, that he hadn't meant to scare me with mentioning marriage and he looked so terrified… We made love for the first time that night and all the time I was wearing the earrings. Ron was a virgin and I was supposed to be too… But of course I'd thrown that away less than an hour before." She stopped talking. Emily had started on a fresh cigarette and sat down beside her new friend.

She took a long drag then shrugged, "So you cheated? Big deal. Everyone does it-,"

"You don't understand," Hermione practically wailed, "I didn't stop! Things got even more intense with Ron and almost every night I ended up with _him. _He started sending me things, clothes, jewellery… I kept it all, most of the jewellery is hidden but now Pavati is noticing… Then a week ago we were in the North Tower…" Hermione shuddered as she remembered and Emily nodded in encouragement, "He'd never been gentle but that night he was horrible, I was in nothing but pain and he didn't care. I still have bruises on my legs and my back, the back of my head actually started to bleed it had been slammed against the wall so hard. I decided then that it had to end, it was self-destructive. I was just going to have to break it off with Ron and end it with _him_… I was spiralling out of control and the reason for it wasn't nearly valid enough…"

"Then?"

"Then… I don't know how I could have been so stupid," She began to sob but refused Emily's offer of a cigarette, "The sex ended and he said sorry. He said he hadn't meant to hurt me but sometimes I made him so mad… I didn't understand- I asked him what I'd done. I wasn't even completely sure why I cared so much. He said that he hated how much I used him. He said that I made him feel used and dirty, that he felt like a horrid little secret that I was ashamed of. I felt horrible, I didn't know what to say and I cared far more than I should have. I told him I was sorry, we had sex again and this time it was gentler then afterwards he told me he didn't want to see me anymore… I was shocked, I'd been planning to do the same thing twenty minutes before but now the thought of not seeing him anymore terrified me. I begged him, _begged_ him not to leave me and then he told me if he was going to stay I had to prove how much I loved him. That was the first time he ever used the word love." She lowered her eyes and spoke in lower tones, "I wasn't in love with him but I was addicted. I said I'd do anything. I can't believe I fell for it… I can't believe I did something so stupid-,"

"What did you do?"

"He took pictures of me." Her voice was barely a whisper, "I should have wondered why he had a camera with him but I was so desperate not to loose him…" She looked pleadingly at Emily, begging her to understand, "Horrible pictures, naked pictures." Her lips were beginning to turn a pale blue from the chill but she continued confessing her sins, trying to cleanse herself, "He said that doing that would prove I loved him… Then, of course, once he had the pictures I was his really. He started demanding things, using the pictures as blackmail and then last night he told me I had to go to the ball with him, I had to be his date and if needs be tell Ron I hated him. He said if I did that he'd give me the pictures… So tonight I went to the ball with intentions of publicly betraying my boyfriend, the man who loves me, to save my own dignity… I was relieved in a way that everything could come out and end but then he changed his mind. He said he wanted to relax tonight… And that's why I'm here screaming."

After a moments silence Emily stubbed out her cigarette and exhaled a large breath of smoke, "You've got yourself quite a predicament it would appear," To Hermione's surprise the Italian didn't light up again but rather she stood up, "Come on, you're going to freeze. We'll go to the Kitchens and get you something to warm your belly. Sleep on it, everything will seem better in the morning." There was no judgement in her voice or expression. She held out a hand and helped Hermione to her feet which were still shoeless and practically numb with cold.

"It won't be better in the morning," Hermione sighed minutely grateful that her tears had dried.

"Then we'll make it better," Emily told her in a firm voice that made Hermione laugh a little.

"I feel so silly, I don't know anything about you and here I am telling you things I wouldn't even write in my journal,"

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger," Emily smiled a smile full of genuine warmth.

"How come you don't think I'm horrible?"

"Because you aren't horrible. We all do bad things Hermione."

"What bad things have you done?"

"One problem at a time."

A/N hey ok so please review. I would like to ask you guys to Ignore the last few chapters of THBP when you read this. I started planning this story (literally) years ago and can't be bothered fixing all the errors THBP will cause in its plot. Thankfully the Ron and Lavender thing worked out but Dumbledore will not be dead and that whole Draco, Snape, Dumbledore thing will not have happened. Sorry for any confusion!


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